there is no problem you are story but the biggest problem is that your MC is just a total psycho does not have a single emotion and I think you psycho words with better for this kind of character that you made it does not develop or understand that he is doing something wrong and there is no right and wrong for this psycho Main character of yours
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I don't know what to say.I don't want to say.
A fun novel to waste time. The author's style is constantly improving. Perhaps my only problem is that there is some filler in the middle chapters, but the author may have realized his mistake and become better than it was.
As you start reading , you can tell the writing quality is quite high , the author does indeed have talent. Normally I would get excited whenever I encounter this level of writing because this tells me the author is capable to write at least a decent story and somewhat compelling characters. Once you have those elements ..other flaws can be more or less ignored. Well ...with all I said above this should have been at the minimum an ok novel for me to read ....and yet...I stopped at ch 22. Why? Due to the author's choice of MC. Within the first few chapters we have the interactions between the MC and the "first maid". In every interaction between them the MC is getting (to put it mildly) bullied , humiliated and extorted and yet he is getting more and more excited about her. This tells you everything you need to know about the MC. In short , the author presents the MC as being a generic , "lame"/ "beta"/ "doormat
The story is a good read, I definitely recommend for those interested in a slower paced story.it's a refreshing take on the villainess butler plot.much different from other characters that say they want to avoid the main cast and fail almost instantly for no reason but plot. here the main character has a logical reason.the female characters are well written and not just there for convenience sake.there is not much on the world just yet (at time of writing) but it seems pretty interesting nonetheless.
Other then the terrible grammar that a 2nd grader would have it’s not bad. The story line and plot seems ok so far but I don’t know how many more chapters I’ll be able to read with the bad grammar. Spelling seems fine and names consistent so far maybe there will be a surprise and it will get better. :)
Dear Author, I am you have a potential to write a story which. But your story seems like a paragraph or eassy to me.I mean I can read it, but some part are so confusing . ( Although I recommend you to copy my writing style . Where,when a certain individual talk < "...Bold..." >Again it's not about my story promotion or anything it's just u can copy my writing style. Which will help your reader to connect with your story . Unlike your ( Fantasy genre) mine are Bit more like ( Modern -Urban Genre)/ Vampire Queen : Fated love. ( No need to read full or anything. Just read ch 1 .)And try to write....... ( I love fantasy Modern military genre where Mc can't use magic but has IQ or weapons)( Mc will wear like t shirt and pant like Boys in our world . not that royaity dress or fantasy dress)
Needs a better fandom fr bruhh is goated and why is review 140 words well We need more bruhh So when are we going to see Eli jaren and Clara again Broo just shut them off after giving them a nice beginning
This story has an interesting premise and I really enjoy the current development of the story
?????????????This is a very good story, keep writing like this, I will always support you for your story♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️???????????????????????????????????????♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️??????????????????????????
Firstly, the story is interesting and we feel the author put a lot of efforts to create a complex and complete world. The characters are not yet well developped, BUT this is because there is not yet enough material to do so (only 16 chapters at the moment), and we can see there will be character developments soon in the future. The MC is OP but restricted with the use of his power, which will give a good development of the story.Secondly, the author has a good writing, english is not my first language but I can see there is not (or very little) gramatical/spelling/conjugation error.So I really recommend to read this story if this is the kind you like (of course everyone has their own tastes)