Im gonna level, the intro on this story... isnt great. The pace is great (rare for a WN, so good job) and the characters have a nice foundation; but I cant believe it, for an disaster novel it lacks authenticity. There are so many cases where common sense flies out the window and the established world rules are disregarded (any scene involving the elevator is just a big box of stupid). Its like Im reading a first draft of an inexprinced author; this being a WN I’m probably not wrong. A second draft or editor would improve things drastically on this front, but its not unreadable by even by WN standards. Just dont think to hard about the technical side of the world building.Beyond that Theres... GoodThe premise is interesting, the tension is present, and it has great growth potential for both the story and author. BadA bit heavyhanded with the early messages, could have been done in a more natural way, lots of telling but little showing (chapter 4/5 is mostly just infodumps), The characters all start off as stupid. The MC in particular leaps past dense and dashes for the label of braindead. Thats ignoring his moral compass and naivr begining.Its far from a masterpiece on an execution basis; but the author has enough ideas to make it an interesting, if occasionaly infurating, ride.
