My Vampire System

I genuinely love the concept behind this, and the story in general. The reason for the 4-stars instead of 5, however, is the author's lack of proper punctuation. There are a great deal of run on sentences, and not nearly enough punctuation to even everything out. It's like the difference between saying "Let's go eat Grandma!" and "Let's go eat, Grandma!" As far as I'm concerned, the errors severely break the immersion, to the point where this story is more of a "sometimes" story, rather than an "all the time" story. Other than that, though, I love it :)

Author supporting his own work. This is a story that will be updated daily with chapters.

An action Weak to strong story as the character Evolves completing tasks that only a vampire would need to do but not only that he also must struggle with all the disadvantages of a vampire as well.

The story could have been so good...
The only real weak point in the story is MC....
MC is actually brain dead like for real his IQ is so low it's unfathomable how he manages to tie his shoes...

Writing Quality ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Stability of Updates⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Story Development⭐⭐
Character Design⭐
World Background ⭐⭐⭐


1) It took him like ages to figure out he was a vampire
2) When he finds out it takes him like 2 chapters to tell a random stranger all his secrets. (yea bro i have a system and stuff OOOO and btw i'm also a vampire)....
3) He does so much retarded stuff you think he would have killed himself by now...
4)System tells him if you don't drink blood you will run out of hp in 10h
what does MC do? Noting he goes to bed then panics when he wakes up cuz how could he have know his hp would drop ......
5) Has absolute no awareness of all the clues he leaves like if he would just use a bit of common sense....
6) The plot is super forced


In short this novel is super overrated and i have no clue why its up so high.

Brain dead MC ✔
Clueless MC ✔
Below room temperature IQ ✔
No common sense MC ✔
...


So in short sure you can read it but don't waste stones on it.

I really don't understand the Novel's 1st place.

The novel isn't bad as is, there is a lot of potential in the world building. The characters, while not quite there yet, aren't really bad. The main characters that is. Most side characters pretty much don't have any depth at all.

I don't particularly like the way the school life is described. It's a military school. Even if they want students to experience a rough life, students "disappearing" each year? Yeah, who would care about that...

There's also other things I consider plotholes that annoy the heck out of me. First describing portals as a precious technology that is only in the hands of three kinds of people, but nevermind the fact that the "dangerous" red portal is accessible at a school, how come there are no guards/you can simply enter?

All in all, a good approach but the plot really seems too unlogical to me at times.

Seemed interesting. I thought, Hey a story about a sytem that slowly turns tbe mc into a fill blown vampire, neat right? While the idea is certainly cool, and the world backgrojnd at least plausible in the sense that its slightly different from the usual people from regular earth now have powers trope, its...dull.

The characters are currently extremely shallow, there is the most strange contrivances and forced behavior.  Now trust me I want to enjoy the story but the amount of hand waving required is rather high. Im at the point where its required that I simlly forget about any semblance of logic or reasoning. Heck even just basic plot flow requires me to have immense suspension of disbelief.  

Tbe idea has great merit. The method the author uses to slowly change the mc into a monsterous creature is neat. The actjal implementation within tbe story and how the mc and surrounding characters react is not neat. Its dull.

Keep trying author, I am sure you will make it better and better as you go. Just dont force stuff. You want something to happen, ok, them think about the most logical and realistic way it could happen in the world setting. Dont just force things to occur a la deus ex machina, hand wave miracle juice.

Good luck!

A Gem, i would place this novel with Lord of mysterious simply based on potential, the characters arent cutouts they make rational and irrational decisions that fit there character
Im very happy that a new original has found its way to the top
Pros
Potential for the story to go anywhere
Origional idea that has a unique spin on an monster system
Stable uploads
Im not able to guess the plot or what will happen next

Cons
I need more chapters and the chapters fly by due to this

Give it a try, its intriguing where the story is progressing with little predictables that are a common turn off for the system oriented genre