It´s an really interesting story, and has a high potential, but the writer still needs much more practise. The scenen changes are too quick and comes almost unannounced. Most of the time I am thinking, "What is now going on?" only to find out that there happened a scene change. The characters are partly interesting, but to plain and especially the MC is a bit unsteady in his behavouir. First he wants not to be used, then he goes with the flow just because of something. What´s the most unnerving ist the too quick development. Parts aren´t really good explained and not as exciting as they could be. Especially i would wish that the parts in them something gets explanied to other characters, like where they explain that he got that invitation in chapter 40, would a bit more elaborate. The last thing is the grammar, there are a lot places where there should be comma´s and so on. In the end it is really good material for an good story, but it got bad realised..
