Shining Duos

Extremely interesting characters, abilities, and story! Very different from any other "magic" I've seen in a story before. I'm interested in seeing where the story goes. Definitely will be sharing this one with some friends

Well first off this book might not be for people looking for a lot of story development because the book is only really starting as of when i am writing my review, But the book dose have a more laid back feel to it which almost all cultivation books don't really have with all the drama going on, Its laid back in the way that the MC's is not some fish turn dragon with some treasure they just happened to find but are strong from the start for people there age as well as having a pretty big backing, But before you go thinking that they get handed everything you would be right and wrong, Right in the fact that they would be if the MC's were in there own realm but wrong in that they aren't but are adventuring to gain experience trough missions given by a guild that has rules where you can't have people protecting you or people a lot stronger then the rest of the team.

The book also had little character development so far besides becoming stronger but is fixed a bit in the chapter as of when i am writing this so it might be a little stale early on.

But with all that said the book has a lot of potential and would recommend reading if your sick of the over dramatic part of most cultivation books but still like the cultivation theme.

As I wish to deliver on the request of being entirely brutally honest, I must say that this review may appear rather negative. I focused mainly on what - in my best opinion- has the most need or potential for improvement (in the hope to help you progress rather than simply sing you praise).

The very start of your story has the potential to be immersive, but fails to grasp my attention. I think this is due to the fact that there is an absence of rhythm in your writing, something I noticed as well further throughout the rest of your work.

The characters feel sympathetic but I fail to imagine them. They appear to be cut out of cardboard and don’t feel like actual people. You have given me some idea on how they look but I would like to know more about the way they stand, their posture, their bearing.

I want to see more personality. Give me some originality. Give me some flaws! Dimples, scars, dry lips. Do they pick their nails? Play with their sleeves? Show me peculiar character details. Any particular violence, abruptness or charm in the way they move? A particular way they move their eyebrows? Do they make exaggerated hand motions when they talk? Nonchalant scratching? Do they look away at some points during discussions? Do their smiles reach their eyes?

As your reader, these things tell me a lot more about the characters than the colour of their hair.

I wish for texture, intensity and sensation.

The dialogue is fairly woody; it sounds forced and not quite genuine. As for the romance; it is a bit entertaining, but it does not thoroughly convince me and the ‘chemistry’ seems obligatory. I am not especially rooting for the relationship, although as a reader I need to get a secondhand infatuation with the love interest.

The overall quality of your grammar is rather poor, but not as poor as other works on webnovel.

I do appreciate that you clearly put a lot of effort in your work. I applaud your enthusiasm and sincerely hope that my harshness did not dissuade you from continuing.

The story is written well, the characters are unique and original and you can easily see the effort the author put into this novel. I highly recommend giving this novel a try!

Overall interesting story line, the characters are well described, and the world background is put together in an interesting way.

The updates seem to be rolling in, which is great!

The only thing I noticed is that there are a few issues with grammar, the one that stood out is subject verb agreement. There are cases when the subject is singular and the verb is plural. This is pretty small though, and doesn't cause interruptions in the reading experience.