Loko Sempai - Reviews

Loko Sempai
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Just thought about a rough idea today, and decided to try writing this. To me, it's a form of practice, where I'll be able to freely express all the adjectives and descriptions that I had just learned. And of course, I'm going to give myself 5 stars :)
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So far, so good, World building is easy, as we know most of our world anyway, and the system hints at a much bigger supernatural side....I feel like it could go to an universal scale.The story is ....well non-existent at this point. We're just seeing the character develop at the start, no over-arching plot has yet been revealed but that's fine at this point of the story. (chapter 24)The characters do unfortunately leave me a bit wanting, as I've currently barely remember anyone besides zach.Also the writing style is horrendous....what's with the main characters dialogue starting with a period? I can't understand whether it's inner monologue or dialogue.Still interested to see more of it
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Not a lot of logic here, translation is not to good too, but still not a 1 star review as most say.I can give it a 3.Not a lot of logic here, translation is not to good too, but still not a 1 star review as most say.I can give it a 3.
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After walking, they stopped at a certain point of the edge. They were at the mid-range of its mountainous terrain near the cliff's edge, hidden behind the foliage of the tall trees. Prime peered intently at what lay underneath the cliff. The view from their spot showed them a vast plain of grassland and at the forefront of it was a group of mortals. So close, yet so far.
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She shook her head again. "No..nothing.Just something that I can't remember."
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"I'm sorry, young master!"
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"We found the young lady my lord..."
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"Weakling," He picked up his limp body and walked back into the living room and sat him down on the only remaining chair, "Time to have some fun," He pulled out duct tape and began tying him down to the chair, ankles, wrists and then his torso and legs to the main part of the chair. He walked into the kitchen and opened all the drawers. A smile grew on his face as his eyes landed on a dozen types of knives and some other sharp items, "Oh boy, oh boy, this is the gear," He took out a few of them and placed them on the out of fashion fireplace. He stood in front of the man and waited for him to wake up from being knocked out cold.
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Akeno: Mmm~~ Don't tease my pussy Dusk~ I want your cock badly right Mmm~ now!! I want it to churn my folds over and over again till I pass out
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Seeing the stone that radiated mana, a hint of desire flashed through Belgrave's eyes, quickly hiding it, he recomposed himself before anyone noticed. To think that the King had something so valuable and was so wasteful as to give it away. Was all Belgrave could think after seeing it land in Adaro's hand.
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Then tragedy struck us all. The general lost his life trying to stop an attempted assassination.
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   Fifty-five seconds and counting. You bastards better start running you're about to fry

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