The plot is interesting, and the drama up to now didn’t drag. However, the content is unreadable due to the massive grammatical errors with word choice, punctuation, and sentence structure. Some paragraphs end with ellipses, whereas others don’t have periods. It’s like a confusing stream of consciousness. The author states that she updated the story via her phone, which explains the numbers in place of letters. If an editor or proofreader helps, the book would be worth the money.
I really like the way you roleplay the story and how it updates, but i suggest you put more world background so the audience can actually "Feel" or imagine what's happening in the story 8/10 :D
Dear author, excuse me for a few minutes. We like your novel very much, but we can't find your novel in the Chinese website. I hope I can get your translation right. If people like it, we will pay you a certain fee.
Alright, back to the introduction.
My name is Ifritz, the son of Jinni Scretz my Mother, and Satan Madisgood my Father.
Wormy's friend is a very pretty little beetle. It's much smaller than my Wormy but that's not a fair comparison. It is wider though with a semi-shiny dark blue green shell.
Senjutsu chakra was different from normal chakra. It was a mix of nature energy and normal chakra.
"Let's not delay it anymore and walk towards golf course Miss. Mei, Otherwise we both might get punished… " Xiu Mei giggled at this and followed him.
Resistance:t30
"sabrina,ashton is looking for you!!"
It was the first time he had asked about it so directly. He felt a heating sensation in his ears, but there was no appearance of fire yet. His stomach knotted in a very uncomfortable loop and his heart started beating faster as he met her cool eyes. It was not right, he shouldn't be feeling like this with his only friend, then again he never had to question her like that before. 'Damn it, why couldn't she just answer?'
My world's on fire, how about yours?