"Okay, don't explain that, my brain will melt."
' who are you guys?' A deep husky voice comes out from the bear-like man standing infront of us. We stood there mouths open wide, my mouth felt so dry all of a sudden. What was wrong with me? Again his thundering voice asked
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
Kaguya smiled gently at Nagisa. "Do not fear, lieutenant, the Six Houses' support for the JLF and all those who fight for Japan's liberation will not waver merely because the viceroy has demonstrated a token of goodwill to our people."
Materials: Blue colored grass, core of a Rank 1 Ferocious Beast, any bit of food.
seseorang telah mengetuk tingkapnya.
'The first code is for the locker, the next three codes are to be used with access card 1,2 and 3 and on the first three locks you'll find respectively. While the rest four should be used with card 1 on the remaining four locks.'
"What's your talent? C'mon do something for us," he said in snarky tone.
(Grade 5 Star, Passive): Lvl 4
First of all, I viewed your story in a reader's POV and not as a professional or something so you may find some fault in my review. There's something that I need to point out and here it goes:Just like what you said here in your review and author's note, the prologue was really too much to handle. It doesn't (you know) pull a reader to read the next chapters. Prologue is an introduction, you did a good job in it as a whole, I like how you ended it but you should tone down on your choices of word (I think it is the main reason that it's hard for a reader like me to continue, there's a lot of words that I don't understand hahaha) Aside from that, on your chapter 4 (the filler chapter) there's a phrase that has been bugging me for a while so I will point it out "You cannot afford to be heard, even when you are injured - especially when you injured. Bla bla" The part where you said especially when you injured, I feel that there's something lacking on it or it's entirely wrong but anyhow I hope you can fix it because it makes the reader confused. Other than that, I like how you narrate your story (You did a great job on it!) , especially when you're describing the things or the background, it makes the story realistic because the reader can also imagine the places, the person and etc. Overall, keep up the good work fellow author! I'll try to finish your story, I'm still in Chapter 6 and all I could say is the storyline is great so far. P.S please do keep in mind that I'm not familiar with this genre, so if you find fault on the things that I said, you can just disregard it.
Following the figure is Dylan. The captain was about to call Dylan but the whole ship shook! The ship has collided with the Blue Demon!
What if he was sent by the government to capture Ace? Maybe they found out who Ace actually is. Who his father was. Maybe they finally find out that Ace is alive and they want to get rid the demon's heir now?