Soul for a Girlfriend?

Hello Author-san here ;)
This is my first novel and plot development is a bit slow because I want it to be as detailed as possible. So please bear with me. ^W^

As the author of this book, I will really appreciate if people who are reading this book, add this to their library. It really helps out a small creator like me.

bit.ly/3LyRF1N

[Reviewed on: 12-06-2021]

GOOD POINTS:
- Comical vibe through the chara of female demon/devil
- MC is reasonably smart, not too dumb to cringe at all
- The flow and pace is fine too
- Apparently there are no issues in grammar [will explain further below]
- Storyline somewhat resembles 'my pick up artist system' but no it's not a fanfic
- MC has a goal to achieve or he will die
- At first it gave me 'death note' vibe, then the devil felt a succubus to me as she emerged
- It was entertaining~

WEAKNESS:
- Synopsis doesn't really tells what's inside, it should be more elaborative on the contract aspect
- The initiative strategy in chapter 1 is extremely wrong
- No one wants to read the routine of MC, his house, work, what he is wearing, food, etc
- The narration is in personal/1st person but the repetition of 'I' is annoying, in about five lines 'i' is overly used seven times!
- 1st chapter should have begun by the later half, the upper half is completely dump in my opinion. Since 2 and 3rd chapters are without fillers and absolutely good with hooks, while 1st [initial half] is a turn off.
- Devil can read his mind but at places she doesn't respond to his thoughts, why?

I like this novel its similar to an anime i watched called The World God Only Knows btw if you end up liking this novel then the animes is worth a watch also this works vice versa if you liked that anime you will probably like this novel. [img=recommend]

Hello author, hope you had a good day (or night) depends. So I have seen your work, today I will review your novel and I think you are doing fine with your narrations. I can still see that it can be improved. The narrations were direct and concise. It was a nice story all in all and Such cuddly and heart pumping in some places. What a beautiful novel you have. I think I have to read more as I am just on the tip of the iceberg. Making me see just a shallow part of it. But so far, I can see its potential. Good luck in the Spirity! Hope you win! Have a five star to brighten you up. ✨