This is only a review on eight somewhat short chapters, but the story is well on its way to the main section (from the synopsis anyway) to the forming and fighting of Maddoxx’s squad.The writing is pretty average, it’s neither terrible nor great. There are a few missed capitalizations, but other than that, sentences are structurally correct. For details on the settings or mood, it’s mostly sound effects that are employed, so other forms of showing the story rather than telling could be added.Story-wise, the plot is understandable, but it has a few gaps that might be filled in later such as why Mr. Golden has a specific interest in making Maddoxx into a man and whether he’s done this before in some kind of program rich men like to pass the days doing; why Dimitri is in the cell/how he got there, if there are any other prisoners undergoing the same thing as Maddoxx if not, why single him out for torture; why the Russian mafia is breaking in and the possible connection to Dimitri.The torturing is somewhat reminiscent of Tokyo Ghoul. The character development from the torture could be a little more dramatically and believably done. Or perhaps added to that, more backstory and fleshing out of the MC. To simply say he’s an average dude with no dreams isn’t enough. Everyone has some kind of wish if not a dream, or some desire or hope. If he’s really so apathetic, then there should be some reason or experience that makes him that way. Or with the torturing, build up that madness and growth bit by bit.Dimitri at this point is better fleshed out/original than the MC. The defining reason why is his swallowing of the “gum.”I can definitely see this becoming a good story once the plot gaps, descriptions, and character development improves/get filled in. It’s just a few steps away, but nice work so far!
