Greatly imaginative and entertaining. While you greatly succeeds in creating a world in which we see our protagonist go about, I would enjoy seeing more rhythm in your overall writing.Grammar mistakes disrupt the flow of the story on occasion, but these are understandable as it isn’t easy to write in a language which isn’t your first. I myself know this struggle very well and know you are doing your best to improve. The characters themselves seem, overall, rather wooden. In the sense that they show the potential to be interesting personages but, as a reader, I don’t necessarily feel sympathetic to them.I do note some improvement towards later chapters and advise you to simply keep going, as one cannot improve without practice. I wish you a lot of fun continuing your story.
