Disclaimer: Types of stories like these are not my cup of tea, so I won’t lie, I did not go far in this story. But from what I read, I will give an honest review. It is a good story for readers who lije stiff like this. Your writing is good and interesting, although you have grammar mistakes that need to be fixed(dialogue and the big spaces you have between the commas). Break up your paragraphs a little, too. Other than that I seen no other problems, your character building is good and the ones who like stories like this, will enjoy it. Keep up the good work!
