I really wanted to like this story. It does some things quite well, and at first it seemed like a really fresh experience, but after a while it began to seem like a one-trick pony. Basically it relies way, way too heavily on gimmicks. These gimmicks are what made the story interesting in the beginning, but the author seemed to lack the ability to properly incorporate them into a real story, and instead just made /everything/ about this gimmick, to the point that it becomes a crutch that eventually drags the story down.It tries very hard to be funny, and it does succeed at times, but mostly just hammers home the same juvenile, unfunny jokes until they become a serious annoyance.A good author would have taken that concept that worked in the beginning and subtly integrated it into a "proper" story, rather than relied on the gimmick to carry them through and overuse it again and again and never actually get to writing anything worth reading about.
