It's so wrong of you to have a novel that could be so much better held back by grammar issues. The story is there, the character is there, but the last of the big three THE GRAMMAR is no where to be found. I can get past the dialogue issue, but you just can't throw commas at a run-on and expect that to solve it. It has gotten to the point that I'm wondering if you read over what you write. At one point in the Novel you even call the MC a young woman (specifically ch.35). I've tried pretty hard to read this novel, but the mistakes are too glaring to let slide. Even when I skimmed through I was noticing mistakes. Without an editor I feel I'm being pretty lenient giving it this score. If you are serious about this novel you should really consider working with someone to fix the mistakes.
