2.1 | Vishal and Layla

this story has been completed but where is the full story ???

I'll be honest, but the first initial chapters were a bit of a struggle to read. Maybe because of the grammatical mistakes and misuse on tenses and adverbs. Not to add, I noticed that the author tends to be redundant too. And that made my eyes feel tired. (Imagine reading a paragraph that repeated the word "kill

Aunque al principio era muy tedioso al leer pero desde el cuarto capitulo fue mejorando está que lo leí en un día los 58 capitulo y me quede con deseos de mas

I think your writing is pretty good, just a couple of complaints and that is in the translation, confusing genders.  I may suggest that you get an editor to assist you. I am at chapter 12 and the story line is very good. I sincerely hope you do not decide to drop the story.

IT is a very interesting start, The way the main character first gets his game system is interesting and I'm happy for once, that the girl isn't a complete scumbag like in most stories. The grammar is strange in places, but you can tell this is from someone who's English is their second language and it's great and still readable and enjoyable.